What’s in a name?

So what the fuck is a memoir? What is a zoomer? Memoirs of a zoomer?

Let me be precise about this – I bought the website last night as an offering to myself. Everyone, my peers, my professors, my under-educated parents – they all told me that if I disconnect myself from academia that my wit will worsen. That I’ll become complacent with a sick linecook job making $11/hr; just enough to go to the bar, pay my rent and have no savings left over. My brain will ossify with nothing left but dopamine receptors.

This is a bipartite agreement here. The first part is to them. But only out of spite. I won’t lose my skills. I will continue to read and do all the other “big brain” things that keep me sharp. I promise I won’t play video games till two in the morning. I promise I won’t eat MSG rich Chinese food four days a week. I promise I won’t jerk off four times a day. The second part is to write, for the sake of getting better at it.

Anyway, back to the point. Memoirs. A historical account of something from a time period. Supposed to add to the retelling of an event. You know, letters during the Civil War or some shit. This is a memoir of living in the modern world, the age of the internet. A memoir of nothing particular besides living in a time with no convictions and a dying world. A flow of incessant information bubbling up. I wanna vomit.

That’s what a memoir is. And a zoomer? Well, it’s a riff off the memes about boomers, doomers, gloomers – if you’re reading this, then you know. In lieu of doxxing myself, I was born in the late 90s. Late enough to have no recognition of 9/11. Early enough for the good times in the late 2000s. Vivid reveries of the times my parents divorced, my Nintendo DS, Modern Warfare 2 and the financial crash that eradicated our savings.

I am a manifestation of Gen Z. So put those two phrases together and you have memoirs of a zoomer. I’m kicking myself in the head for such a stupid fucking name. Nevertheless, I’m gonna stick with it. The purpose of this website is catalog the machinations of my mind. At least this website has a purpose.

I am zoomer, and this is my memoir.

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